HERCULES

                                 HERCULES
Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson (the Rock) was supposed to be a different take on the Hercules legend. Honestly the movies Hollywood pumps out about the Ancient Greek myths were getting tired. This movie successfully told a familiar story a different way, though with some familiar elements. I think the acting all around was very good. I thought the way they told the story was clever and it actually kept me guessing about a key point to the story while developing the characters well. I keep my reviews more vague so as not to give too much of the story away; that said, the battle scenes were awesome, and several supporting characters did a hell of a job! Ian McShane was actually my favorite character, but only just ahead of the Rock’s Hercules. Johnson played both serious and heroic, with flashes of his humor and a severe weight of sorrow he carried. (I liked seeing Rufus Sewell as a good guy; he plays the villain so well, he hasn’t been anything but for a very long time.) All in all I’m glad I took the time to watch this movie.

The Prince with Bruce Willis, John Cusack, and Jason Patrick is a typical action movie with a typical plot… Retired bad guy has to save his child and kill twenty billion bad guys. Bruce Willis was the villain (you can tell because he had a goatee), and I’ll say it… I like him more as a lead man than a supporting actor. There are some exceptions, but this movie was no Jackal and certainly no Siege! It’s tough having a bad guy that you actually feel bad for in this kind of shoot-em-up movie. Weird plot point, that. John Cusack was under used but did well enough considering he had little time to show his chops. Jason Patrick was actually pretty believable as the super skilled former bad guy. I’m just tired of this storyline. It’s been hit from every angle so many times that even a plot twist is blatantly obvious. The acting wasn’t horrible, and I think the prize goes to Jessica Lowndes best acting in the movie. Not a huge waste of time, but I would never seek to watch it again.

Neighbors, another Seth Rogen flick.. I’m sick of them, because they are all the same. Different characters, slightly different story, same exact type of jokes. The bounce-quick-lines-off-each-other-and-smoke-lots-of-weed routine has its moments but enough with these unrealistic, overblown pieces of shit that these people keep pumping out. A bright spot… Lisa Kudrow as the headmaster. I wish she had more time  onscreen. I’ll say this for the movie… It was better than This is the End.

A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane’s attempt to act himself versus through a cartoon or a bear… Actually not so bad! I’ll ignore the fact that the super pale, Botox faced Seth does NOT resemble someone from the West, but maybe that was part of the joke! There was a lot of great and hilarious moments in this, and a couple AWESOME cameos. No hints! The cast was great. Everyone was irreverent and swearing and slipping in 21st century lingo whenever possible. I enjoyed it tremendously! All that said, I’m thinking that MacFarlane is going to turn into another Seth Rogen , making too many movies that become less and less funny over time!

Aaron. C of Man-Cestry

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AN INSIDER LOOK AT “IMMIGRATION” — Pedro’s Story

 

 

 

 

 

–PEDRO’S STORY–

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IMAGINE… That not EVERYTHING you “think” you’ve seen, read, or heard “might” NOT be true!!

“PEDRO’S STORY” —  an insider’s first hand knowledge — might make you re-think exactly that.

Immigration reform, citizenship, amnesty, undocumented workers, bipartisan deals…. These words and phrases are seen, read, and heard in every news, press, and media outlet repetitively ad nauseam. Yet not many people know what they “actually” mean. Sadly, fewer still can apply what they do” know” to events happening in our country.

Don’t worry, this is not a vocabulary lesson of epic proportions. This is a story about a young man. For the sake of keeping things fairly similar to the facts — we will call him Pedro.

Pedro Luis Vasquez hails from a village in the mountains of Guatemala. Its inhabitants lead a simple life, with few of the comforts that even poor Americans take for granted, like, for example, floors made of something besides dirt.

Unschooled and illiterate, Pedro begins work at age seven — in the fields. He is helping his father pay off a debt to a crooked politician. This debt is owed for that very politician “allowing”  Pedro’s older sister to leave the country so that she can attempt some sort of life by heading to the United States.

The father knows it is unlikely that he will ever be able to pay off this debt. He is a man dependent on his simple wages. He vows that Pedro’s departure not be the same once he is sent to America.

So at the age of ten Pedro begins his journey to America via “first class transport” in an old fire truck. Fire truck? Yes, fire truck. The best part is, the money for the journey comes from… American donations!!! The people donating believe that they are donating to a charity which sends older trucks from various cities in America to cities in Guatemala. Of course, many are actually exchanged this way. The older trucks from the cities in Guatemala are often bought and refurbished by collectors in America. Every now and then, a truck is hollowed out and rigged to transport people and supplies for the long journey to the U.S.

For Pedro, it is not a comfortable trip, but he does not complain. He’s used to difficult living conditions, and the work in the fields has made him very hardy.

The truck arrives in Atlanta, Georgia, where it is unloaded at the warehouse of an American who has been  paid rent a year in advance and does not ask questions. Who could blame him in the post 9/11 economy?

From here the group splits up, each heading to different parts of the country. Some stay in Atlanta and merge with the Hispanic population there.

Pedro boards a bus with some others and heads to Providence, Rhode Island.

Pedro is surprised by the climate. The weather is much colder in Rhode Island.  His Providence neighborhood is very nearly all Guatemalan people. Spanish is spoken everywhere,  even the Americans ( to Pedro this would be anyone not from his country) can speak at least some Spanish. He lives with his older sister and her family.

He is inserted into the public school system where his lack of schooling  has left him seriously behind other children his age. Programs for non-English speaking children and special tutors benefit him… and these are all staffed by Guatemalans. His sister shops at stores owned by Guatemalans. Her husband works at a mechanic shop owned by a Guatemalan. (He is an American citizen whose family has lived here for many years… and, because of the marriage, so are his wife and children.)

Time passes quickly, and Pedro learns enough English to get by fairly well. He does not enjoy school, however.He is used to working a full day and wishes to earn money to  send home to his father. There are many early teens from his country working in his neighborhood. When he turns fourteen, he begins working at a restaurant owned by a relative from… take a guess! Pedro learns the delicate art of dish-washing, then floor cleaning, table busing, and even some cooking!

His neighbor gives him and another young coworker a ride to and from work daily. They pay him weekly for the service. They also pay his sister weekly for daily homemade hot meals. This may sound expensive, but we are talking twenty dollars per week for meals and rides to work. Sounds good, doesn’t it? (Just to be clear, the sister provides this service to many young unmarried men. She makes a tidy profit even after buying all the supplies every week.)

  • Pedro also gives his sister money every week for rent, plus some to send back home to his still laboring father. American money exchanges in Guatemala at about 8:1… so it is very welcome!! Some money sent home also funds organizations that arrange trips like Pedro took years earlier.

  • A few years later, Pedro begins landscaping and learning masonry at a small company owned by… an American. Imagine that! Yes, this small business owner can pay good hard workers like Pedro dollars less per hour than the average American worker. Pedro still works nights at the restaurant. He moves into a good sized apartment with seven other men his age who all work close by in various places. The Guatemalan landlord pays utilities, and the rent is minimal when divided seven ways.

  • Like most Guatemalans, Pedro is frugal and hard working. After saving for awhile, he buys a used car, which his sister registers and insures. He pays her for this of course. He becomes the chauffeur for several men at his job. He has no license, but always drives very carefully and slowly.  In time, he grows skillful at masonry and becomes his employer’s best man. Pedro is now making good money at his two jobs, and still saving a lot of money with his apartment.

  • Pedro has been very busy working to help his father, and finally succeeds in paying off his father’s debt. With the extra money at his disposal he begins paying towards some land back in Guatemala. He has been talking online to a young lady from a city near his village, and he is eager to get back and start a life with her. He is now in his twenties and ready to settle down.

  • His family builds the house for him as he continues to send money to the bank to pay off the mortgage. He takes a trip to Guatemala to visit his family, his lover, and his future property.

  • Unfortunately, Pedro never gets to finalize his dreams. Guatemala is plagued by gang violence and kidnapping. He is captured and murdered within sight of his new home. The corrupt bank manager divides his money with the gang and repossess the house.

  • Reading Pedro’s tragic story, the typical American would hesitate to believe this is possible. Variations of this story abound all over both countries. We all cringe when an affluent politician tells us that they want to “fix” the illegal immigration “problem” when all they care about is votes that keep them in power. The truth is, the entire system has been twisted and corrupted to a point that it is nearly impossible to “fix.” So, Dear Reader, is it more important to spout off fancy phrases in front of a camera or to accomplish something that actually helps people? An elected official that does the latter would  actually be doing what the people elected him to do!!!! Imagine THAT!— Aaron C / Man-Cestry

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  • on the river to a better life

GET REAL –

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Get real

Something happened recently that really got me motivated to shed some light on something that I’ve noticed,  since I joined Facebook. I have only told the story to a few trusted friends — due to some “he said – she said” — I will respectfully not repeat the whole story here. Basically I was misunderstood when I placed a line from a movie into my comment on a  ” Facebook friends” status update. The ensuing string of responses sparked the fire to write a note — ultimately leading me to share my story with those few above mentioned friends. Both of them agreed that this facet of Facebook needed to be pointed out. Though I am sure that this has and will not be the last time.

Okay Okay enough buildup, for goodness sake! Here it is:

There are way too many sycophants on Facebook! For this moment I will focus on the “guys following chicks” and the “legion of girl-trash.”

First, to the guys:

I get it, fellas… You scroll through your friends list and gawk at the stunning profiles of beautiful women — I get it because, we have all done it. I will be the first to admit I am fortunate to know a good number of gorgeous women — where we differ as men is our approach.  Some of you feel the need to like and/or comment on the status and pictures  — of every good-looking girl on your own, or your friends’ lists of friends. It’s almost ” legal stalking” except you lack in the stealthy suave ways of flawless flirting — instead of under the radar, you steer your vessel of missing mojo directly into the laser clad watch tower that is — “EVERYONE else on Facebook watching — as you nosedive into the “friend zone” at full throttle…… (Way to be incognito compadre.)

There are of course guys that actually are friends with some of these ladies and I am not referring to them… Er… us. How many times have you seen a girl quote a song and have thirty guys try to make her feel better — then watch as she tries to explain it? I have seen everything from, unsolicited fitness/diet advice — to ridiculous comments on pictures — pathetic attempts at humor, hook up requests, and so on! (I know some of you are sitting there right now laughing and nodding as you read this — probably able to think of an example fitting these dynamics instantly.) I’ve also noticed that one can usually tell by the response whether the “sweetie” knows the “beau.”

unfriend

 

I have some possibly eye-opening information for all of you Facebook “Wooers” based on years of observing comments and replies — not to mention first hand witnessing of facial expressions:

  1.  She knows she’s hot hat’s why the picture was posted. She wants her real friends to comment, surely; I know there are girls just attention seeking (more on that later), but please stop already !
  2.  She is not your “Mamie”, “babe,” or “honey.” She won’t become that because of your amazing vocabulary skills either.
  3.  Not everything a good-looking girl posts is worthy of a like or some obsequious follow-up comment.
  4. I love my lady friends because they post some great stuff! BUT I KNOW THEM — and the ones I do not know — well I get the feeling they won’t be dragging me off to the nearest obscure motor inn or alley way — simply because I complimented them. Hey “If I’m wrong about that, please message me and I’ll prepare to be dragged!”
  5.  She has people she spends time with, and you are not likely to become one of them — especially, if you live in Sri Lanka and she is in Boston. This is actually more common than you would think… Which leads me to the next point!
  6.  All of this verbal genuflecting is creating a legion of young girls — who now lack the motivation, voracity, avidity, and/or propensity — to be clever, respectful, or worthy of adoration. Their posts and comments prove it. They will be discussed shortly.
  7.  For goodness sake, “get off your phone/laptop and meet a live person!” You pedantic, pontificating, pretentious couch potato! Some Jim Carrey alliteration is always safe.

Now moving on to the “FEMALES” I just mentioned in my sixth point:

I know, most of you DON’T want a man’s opinion on anything… You clearly have everything figured out. You bless us daily with your status updates and comments. You are brilliantly illuminating the world with gems like, ” I still taste last nite on my mouth. I’m gonna sleep all day and go back to town with my bitch and get sloppy again. Providence, your in for a treat!” However, this man’s opinion is shared by most people so pay attention! Those guys who make you look — so — like — cool —  by telling you howinspirationally deviant” you are. Or in his words “Girl , you so fly!” are BOYS. While MEN will find a good picture of a gorgeous woman appealing, they are usually repulsed by non-ladylike behavior.

It is not cool to be trashy. It is not sexy to sound like a sailor on shore leave… “Unless you ARE a sailor on shore leave!” But it’s doubtful that “the not so lady-like ladies are capable of surviving even a mild version of a Navy boot camp. That being said — there are plenty of women who dance or model and post pictures who are not trashy. Their posts are about family, friends, music, and comical situations. They can have fun and still be undeniably lady-like or simply real women.

fb pic omg no

 

Some facts for all those who think head butting a wall when the club is at capacity will get you anywhere:

1) Learn about makeup. What is with the eyes? I will admit i do not wear it so I can only speak from an observer’s point of view… I have one friend who dances and really goes all out for costumes and her look for each night. She knows exactly how to pull this off correctly. She does not look like Cleopatra after three rounds with Floyd Mayweather. Most times less is more.

2) People are always watching……..” As a thirty something young at heart, I am learning this rather later than i should have; my wish for you is that you don’t have to lose friends and more before you learn it.” People are also always listening.

3) It is good to be stretching ones wings and learning about oneself, but it must be done with as much class as possible, not as little.

4) Learn about picture-taking and the best way to be artistic. I am not mentioning duck face. Oops, I mentioned them ( insert thought here!)

5) Positive beats negative every time.

6) LEARN HOW TO SPELL! This actually applies to everyone. I am not talking about Internet words, but about sentences like the one above.

7) Talking about your bodies as a shock and awe routine is so Howard Stern. Let the professionals handle that! Much more can be said to both groups of people but I believe this soapbox session is over for now. If one person could get some perspective from my crude attempt at putting thought to “pen,” then I will have succeeded.

Written By: Aaron C.

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ONE QUESTION “SHE” MAY BE TOO SHY TO ASK…..

mancestryquestions

 

I AM MAN……..

“HEAR ME ROAR” would just be way to cliché — so instead I will say

” How you dooooin?”…Now that the girls have giggled and thrown up in their mouths, I can happily begin my first post for Here and Sphere.

Woman are funny, disturbing, wildly attractive, and insanely annoying creatures. They have brilliant minds, and Jedi tricks — their super powers are kind of awesome — also THEY PISS ME OFF TO NO END.

However: without them life would SERIOUSLY be a GIANT boring sausage fest, of gaming, messy houses, unshaven…..well…EVERYTHING….and TOTAL BOREDOM.

So in the spirit of these brazen, self – starting, and completely  bewildering Goddesses…. <—-(hoping I scored points there, though doubtful) — I give a peace-offering of sorts. INFORMATION, yup that’s right…. I may even break guy code here — so hopefully no one puts a hit on me. IF I live to see another day, MEN — Will at some point thank me….. I PROMISE…

HERE IS A QUESTION, WOMAN WANT ANSWERED — BUT ARE TO SHY TO ASK:

Q. Numero Uno) Why in the hell does it take so damn long for a guy to take a crap?

A. Well my lovely Fast Crapper’s, and power pusher’s of the world;                  1.) WE ENJOY THE DAMN SILENCE. The reason that porcelain god is called a “Throne” is — for when we sit upon it We are one again King of OUR castle.  ”If” we share a domicile, that means that at some point…..YOU WON. We surrendered our hearts and spare key, to the woman we knew should be ” Our Queen”. 

2.) The Solace of the “poop room” helps us to think…. ( Yes we really do that thinking thing….smart-ass) It’s a “Turd World Country” but it is rich in plush Cottonelle butt-paper. Plus there are hand-towels..neatly folded and perfectly placed hand-towels (that we KNOW we are NOT supposed to touch — since they are simply there to look pretty.)

3.) THERE ARE NO RULES…Other than the hand-towel NO-NO!!!! In the “Palace of Poo” we men are FREE. We are allowed by human-ism, and possibly god given right — to obnoxiously fill the air — with our rancid man-ufactured, possibly toxic, tear-inducing ass perfume. AND THERE…..It is acceptable….even encouraged.

4.) Finally and most honestly –IT FEELS GOOD….. There I said it.. After all we worked hard for that feeling of accomplishment. After stuffing our faces behind the backs of our beloved queens, and slowly digesting our gluttonous bounty — it feels GREAT to know….. OUR CRAP STILL WORKS……….

The ever evolving man

The ever evolving man

MAN-CESTRY ??? Does he want another threesome??

MAN-CESTRY ?????DOES HE WANT ?ANOTHER? THREESOME????

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” My BF of almost a year and half recently confessed to having a threesome (with another girl) in the past. He also confessed that he really loved it! I really need to know what this means, it was so random to bring up. Does he want to try it with me? Is it a hint? Will he be unsatisfied, and disappointed if I’m just not okay with or down for it? Okay Mr. man WTF is going on in his head”………K.L.

HA!!!

Well lesbi-honest I know, I know horrible J.S. reference…So shoot me…

Seriously though, you may be looking at this ENTIRELY wrong… Or he just really really digs threesomes… He may have been a closet threes company addict till recently — you just never know.

But let’s try to be more serious, a lot of you woman will have the man tarred and feathered while waiting for a response….

Okay possibilities….Ready?….Set!……HE WANTS ANOTHER THREESOME…..At least more than likely that is the case. If we break this down into percentages — it will work somewhat like this….

There is a 25% chance you relationship has reached a level where you are in a “safe place”. One he feels you will spare his life…….even if he tells you the truth. (That would be a good thing Miss Panicky pants) If you have made him feel safe, and secure in your relationship; He’s opening up…….. Isn’t that what you wanted?

OR There is a 75% chance that he is totally HAPPY with you, but if you just so happened to walk in one drunken Friday night with an extra play mate, then well –I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WOULD TURN YOU BOTH DOWN.His experience pre-You was great, clearly it’s is a fond memory. But maybe that’s all it is. Maybe he uses that as a fantasy… picturing you instead of course…Maybe it was a bucket-list thing…He tried, he achieved, he conquered, he’s cured. Again let me reiterate that I do not believe; since it was him that brought it up — that he would turn it down –given the chance…. Also he may have brought it up to see if it would piqué your interest…Watch your reaction….See if it’s possible…..Can you blame him?…Really? After saying all that I do believe that although he would all the signs are present that he is also perfectly content with you, and you alone… I would not worry unless this topic becomes one of constant discussion.

“Hey babe, can you pass me the syrup, oh and how bout that threesome?”

“Hey “Hunny remember that girl at work that I told you seemed kind of out there? yeah well come to find out..SHE”S BI….How great is that?…..So ummm How bout that threesome.” 

So yeah the above way over dramatized versions of what your man “might” bring up on a more regular basis, red flags…. Either address it or get ready to begin your “road trip” down a slippery chocolate syrup road paved with good vibrations……

The other 5%

They def want the extra V…..My dear in that case the choice is your’s.

No matter what.

Talk First……

Think…..

Throw shit, and scream later if necessary.

Good Luck……I’d say wish on a clover but they tend to come with 3 leafs.

The ever evolving man

The ever evolving man